Tag Archives: games
Evenin’ all. I’ve broken some toes! That’s not news, I just figure if I put an exclamation mark at the end it will sound existing. Anyway…
So through a series of highly random events, I’ve found myself playing quite a few computer game tie-ins to movies of late. Now if there is one undisputable, undeniable, unavoidable fact about these games… it’s that they are bad. And not just bad, baaaaaaad. Unimaginative, unfocused (I’m trying to see how many words beginning with un- I can fit in this article) and generally lacking the touch of anyone who gives a crap about the product.
But you know all this and I’m betting you’ve seen enough people whining about it online to be sick of the subject altogether. But let it never be said that this is a place of pointless bitching. No, no. Our bitching shall have focus and purpose!
And with that in mind, I pose to you 2 questions:
One. Have you ever played a tie-in game that was good?
And TWO! What do you think would help make tie-in games better as a whole?
One: Matrix the game. Completely separate story from the films and seamlessly integrated into the established cannon. Someone gave a crap about this game. Whether that was just the Wachowski’s or the entire development team, it shows.
Two: Stop giving these games to big studios to develop. All they do is throw it to the unpaid interns to work on and the final product looks like something spit out by first year game-dev students. Try giving the game to a small studio with some interesting ideas. Give them some leeway and see what they want to do with it. Trust me, little developers would kill to work on a game with a big franchise attached to it and they’ll work a hell of a lot harder then better established developers who think tie-in games are beneath them.
Right, I’ve said my piece. Your turn.
See you next week!
So a few weeks ago I was reading this http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/115997-BioWare-Defends-Mass-Effect-3-Launch-Day-DLC and I must say, I completely agree with Bioware about DLC. If the company’s got paid time to kill, then it should defiantly use it to make new content. It makes complete sense to both the business who are appropriately using their resources and to the consumer, who’s getting the option to have something that they wouldn’t have otherwise. If they’ve got enough time to fit it on the disk, awesome. Less hard drive space taken up.
If it works the way described, it really is a good idea for keeping prices low during the possess of DLC production…………although, I am pretty sure that Bioware is lying out of its big conglomerate arse. I don’t want to get into that now though, lest a rant take shape. Instead I want to know what you think of launch day DLC. What’s your opinion on the whole issue?
As a fashionable young lady, I have certain expectations when it comes to my life. I have fashionable clothing, a modish apartment, a cat that is simply très chic, and a rather dashing twitter background. When it comes to video games, I expect that my virtual avatars be just as en mode as I am. Now I know that it’s too much to ask for to have Miu Miu breastplates, Gaultier hauberks and Jimmy Choo greaves, but sometimes I feel like – give me a break! Ladies, if you can’t stand spending hours as a dowdy or utterly outré leading lady, let me take the guesswork out of your next gaming purchase.
First up, a staple of nostalgic Generation Y’ers – Pokémon!
Now I’ll admit, not to toot my own horn, but I’m a bit of a Pokémaster. As soon as Pokemon Black was released, I trotted out in my Ferragamo booties to pick up a shiny new copy. You can imagine, however, the look of consternation on my face as soon as I started it up and discovered that, for the whole of the game, this was to be me:
Well, er, howdy y’all!
Now I know we’re in a recession, but do “I” really have to look like I woke up on the wrong side of the trailer park? Where on earth do I even start?
My eyes cannot seem to peel themselves away from that mangled abomination that barely covers her, ahem, lady area. I can hardly call those “cut-offs” since they look more like they were exploded from a pair of pants, rather than cut. Girl, if I can see the lining of your pockets poking out – your shorts are past the point of human decency.
Next – what is with the black wristbands? Either she raided the Hot Topic section of her local Pokémart, or she’s afraid of getting sweaty wrists when she’s throwing Pokéballs. Fashionable? Non! Necessary? I think not!
And – a white t-shirt? True, it is a wardrobe staple – but not when you’re going off to live in the wilderness for a few days months years. I shudder to think of the Pokédirt, Pokéslobber, and Pokésweat that’ll be coating this unfortunate bit of fabric by the end of the first hour. No one wants to challenge their first gym leader with yellowing pit stains! Not that I sweat, or ever find myself outside – but the mere thought of it is making me shiver in my silk Chanel pyjamas.
The bag and hat I can write off to functionality and some sort of youthful exuberance, but my eye twitch returns as soon as I hit those honking combat boots and black socks. Whoa there, GI Jane, what do you think you’ll be stomping around on? Landmines? I think I nice pair of moccasins (very chic for the fall) or some vintage Puma trainers would be perfectly adequate, and much more fashionable.
Sigh. Young lady – toss the shirt, the shorts and the vest. Replace with a pair of YSL jodhpurs (so fun! so fashionable!), a colourful tee with blouson (in case it gets cold!), and a sturdy, but soft pair of suede moccaboots and voila! I’m no longer embarrassed to be seen, and I’m the envy of all the cookie cutter NPCs in the land!
Now don’t even get me started on her best friend…
Au revoir for now!
Tell anyone that you’ve never played Hungry Hungry Hippos before, and you get the same reaction.
“Never? Like, not even once?”
Let it be said now, that I, in my 25 years, have NEVER. HAD. THE PLEASURE. TO PARTAKE. IN HUNGRY. HUNGRY. HIPPOS!
…until this past weekend that is.
Last Friday, after an enjoyable viewing of the beautifully-aweful King of Fighters movie, four of us went over to the board game cafe in the Bloor/Bathurst area, Snakes & Lattes. If you’ve never been, it’s a cafe, FULL of board games.
Each visit, I make the effort to try games I’ve never played before. And lo, a new game did I play.
Hungry Hungry Hippos, where to begin? Many believe the game to be mindless hippo spamming bonanza, in the effort to grab whatever rolling pellets come your way. These many are sorely mistaken. For you see, H2H requires a certain sense of anticipation, and timing.
If the activation of your hippopotami pellet retrieval system (henceforth referred to as HPRS) is premature or late by mere microseconds, you may inadvertently be both deflecting the marble from your own cache, ASWELL as sending it straight to another players HPRS’ gullet.
As tempting as it may be to go “ape-shit” as the commercials over the years have depicted, to become a true H2H master, composure is required amongst all other traits.
But hey, you won’t know what it really takes until you try it. So if you we’re like me, get your hands on a copy by any means, and get ready to satisfy… the hunger.
Holy crap, it’s 1994 again.
Well, if you’re a gamer that is.
This year’s E3 has been the most nostalgia driven of any I can remember. The 2D side scroller has truly made a ‘big name’ comeback with returning titles such as Donkey Kong Country Returns, Kirby’s Epic Yarn, and Sonic the Hedge Hog 4 (and this is AFTER New Super Mario Bros Wii took over the world).
Fighting games have the classic 2D stylings of Mortal Kombat. Car combat has a new Twisted Metal on it’s way. Shooters will be getting a remade Goldeneye (which I thought someone already did with the Source engine).
And to top it all off, the Nintendo 3DS is ready to port over BUNDLES of classic N64 games, such as Star Fox 64 and Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
If a gamer my age has ever told you young’uns “man, games just aren’t like they we’re in the ’90s…
…THIS IS THE 90′s!!! Now where’s my remake of Blast Corps?!