Food/Film Review: Roasted Tomato Soup & The Maltese Falcon

I have never seen The Maltese Falcon starring Humphrey Bogart. Likewise, I have never made a Roasted Tomato Soup starring roasted tomatoes. Not from scratch, anyway (does it count as ‘SCRATCH’ if you use a pre-made broth as a base?).

The film follows Sam Spade, a detective who’s partner is killed after a woman walks in their office and wants them to tail a guy. Eventually it comes clear her story wasn’t true and everyone starts going on about this Maltese falcon thing.

Roasted tomato soup requires 10 fresh tomatoes to be cut in half, oiled, salted, peppered and put in the oven at 450F for an hour along with an unpeeled head of garlic, then all processed in a blender and mixed in with a vegetable broth at medium heat.

20 minutes in, both the film and the soup made little sense.

People are all pointing guns at each other, getting punched, then having a pleasant conversation right after, the tomatoes and garlic started smoking up the kitchen fairly quickly, it never said if the garlic clove should be skinned AFTER it’s baked before going in the blender, everyone goes on about ‘falcon’ this and ‘tomato’ that, trying to follow the script and the cooking instructions just led to more confusion.

To be clear, both had some kick to them. I enjoyed the ‘fat man’ character’s giggles while he discusses at length the importance of acquiring the falcon, and the ‘roasted’ nature of the tomatoes were detectable. However, it doesn’t matter if individual elements are good if they can’t all mix together well, and there’s no point in me trying to force myself to enjoy something. Ultimately they were both weak sauce and too watered down, lacking in any real flavour.

Score: 1/5

Shaggy Shan

About Shaggy Shan

Shaggy Shan is an author. That's right, a PRINTED author. BOOSH! Along with such titles as Buttons & Jim (Flight Anthology vol 8), Radio Adrift (Explorer: The Lost Islands) and the self published collaborative effort with web artist & sister KT Shy, Silly Kingdom, he dabbles in motion graphics and audio shenanigans. Check out more of his work at:
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