So, it happened. The Avengers was released in North America this week. And nothing will ever be the same again.
Actually, that’s probably not true. But, some people have made a whole bunch of money, and the rest of us just spent a lot to help this gargantuan picture topple some crazy box office records. The only thing that could come close to making as much money as this would have to be some sort of Hunger Games – Twilight hybrid where Katniss Everdeen is hunted by naked Edwards and Jacobs or something.
For the record, the movie was awesome. It had everything I could have wanted. A quippy Iron Man, a bad ass Captain America, an operatic Thor, and a pitch-perfect Hulk. No one character took centre stage, or got bogged down with character development. There was no distracting romance angle, or personal drama. Most of these characters have solo movies to worry about that stuff. This is the traditional crossover comic book epic that fanboys always buy up like crazy. And now, the general public understands why!
In comics, they’re so rote at this point that they have a pretty standard formula: Huge bad guy appears, some superhero gets his or her ass kicked, a bunch of other superheroes show up to help, there is a misunderstanding and the heroes fight, then they settle their differences and work together to beat the villain. And, despite how predictable it all is, they do a new one every year or so and it’s inevitably the best selling thing out there. Sure, they’ve become better at it recently. The formula has been tweaked with varying levels of success. For instance, Civil War pretty much started and stopped at the “misunderstanding” phase.
And don’t look to me to try and explain why it works so well. All I know is that when I was still going on road trips with my parents, I read Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars over and over again. It pit the biggest Marvel heroes and villains against each other for 12 issues. That’s pretty much the long and the short of it, but it’s riveting! Maybe it’s something to do with humanity’s fascination with the struggle between good and evil. Or, maybe it’s more to do with seeing characters who don’t normally interact with each other forced to fight or cooperate. Or, maybe it’s as simple as seeing the Hulk hold up a mountain so that it doesn’t crush Spider-Man and a bunch of Avengers trapped underneath.
After the adrenaline rush of the movie died down, I started to think that DC and Warner must be drooling at the prospect of a JLA movie. It’s mighty tempting. Can you imagine Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman all in one movie? Never mind the rest of the team just those three would be a feat. But, imagine the cartwheels they’d have to go through to concoct a threat that requires those three plus Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Flash and Aquaman. And one that has to be introduced and defeated in 2 hours?
I hate to break it to you DC Fanboys, but I don’t think a giant, telepathic, alien starfish is going to resonate on screen quite as well as it does on the page.
On second thought, that sounds amazing!
Alternatively, they could go in the direction of the Justice League International and have a team of mostly b-listers. Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, Guy Gardner, Fire, Ice, and maybe G’Nort. They could team up and fight traffic violations, or something. That’s something that could be filmed in a weekend, and put in theatres by the end of the month and they could totally capitalize on the Avengers buzz!
I think that’s something even I could direct! Sorry, I have to call my agent.
Graham Becksted does not have an agent. He is the author of Graham’s Grumbles the second blog by that name that is listed in Google results when you search for Graham’s Grumbles. If you would like to be his 64th follower (thank you, bots), he can be followed on Twitter @GrahamBecksted.
PS: Stella’s Avengers Handsome Man Ranking
- Thor
- Captain America
- Iron Man
- Hulk
- Black Widow
- Hawkeye
