Author Archives: David Hall
I know this is old news but The Simpsons has a bucket load of episodes. (A bucket load is equal to roughly 500 episodes) Now I used to be one of those people who said they’d seen ever episode but by now I don’t think I’ve seen half! On the other had I just watched episode 256 of Naruto Shippuden and before that there were another 220 episodes before it. Why is that?
Why I stopped watching The Simpsons
1. They wanted to stop. Remember when Futurama showed up?! The idea was that Futurama was eventually going to replace The Simpsons and it made perfect sense. The creators were getting a little tired, but more importantly Futurama was designed to be a longer lasting version of The Simpsons. Futurama can have an infinite number of possibilities, just travel to a new planet, create a new futuristic device. The Simpsons ran out of rational story lines years ago.
2. Re-writing history. The Simpsons don’t age but they’ve been on television for over two decades. This creates problems, when did Marge and Homer get married. Recently the writers rewrote history to be in-keeping with modern times. That shit is whack.
I enjoy covers of songs. Having another artist reinterpret a piece of music I already enjoy is a novelty I don’t think I’ll ever be sick of. Most of the time I’ll only need to listen to the cover once because, it is generally a novelty, but on some rare occasions the cover can stand along side it’s original counterpart on the every expanding universe that is my playlist. I would consider Glee’s version of Don’t Stop Believing one such cover. (We can argue over how over-played that Journey song is another time.) And the reason why that song was successful was because they did it a cappella.
I enjoyed Glee at one time. They used songs to drive their stories forward. Arranging songs differently than the originals to make them unique. But one day that all changed. I can’t be bothered to find the specific episode but instead of singing a song and doing a dance routine in the halls, the world transformed and the cast of Glee was reenacting the music video of the song.
This last week, for no apparent reason Artie (wheelchair kid) and Mike (asian kid) reenacted Michael Jackson’s Scream. For those of you who don’t remember, Scream was directed by Mark Ronmanek and has the infamous title of being the most expensive music video of all time (7 million dollars). Now Glee did not have 7 million dollars to spend on their version of the song but it actually looked shocking close. But that’s the problem, too close.
The whole time I was watching I was comparing it to the original. And guess what I concluded. GLEE IS WAY SHITTIER THAN MICHAEL JACKSON! The singing is worse the dancing is worse the sets are worse, everything is worse! I’m not sure when Glee became a cheap knock off. I used to applaud the show for introducing kids to older music but now I fear it’s just conditioning them to like sub-quality product.
I think there is no debate that war fuels economy but games about war do too. Last November’s retail sales were up 0.3% from October. That might not sound like much but when the figures are in the billions it is. There was a 29 million increase in stores that sold video games (namely Call of Duty). The only sector that did better then video game sellers was the gas station companies.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes was not what I was expecting. That’s actually a good thing. ROTPOFA (that didn’t work out well) was just sitting on my coffee table. Sitting and sitting, I didn’t really want to watch it. I was afraid it’d be a Splice kinda situation. Things turning on their human masters. Generally I like humans winning. Could you imagine watching Independence Day and humanity loses at the end?!
“We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”
And then the aliens just nuke the planet. No, I like my humans to win and the title of this film indicates we lose. So no Planet of the Apes I do not want to watch you. But then I did, and it turns out to be a triumphant movie about one ape overcoming the odds for the sake of freedom, for his Independence Day!
Couple weeks ago Voltron the game came out on XBLA and PSN. Now I remember that I used to love Voltron. And I mean love Voltron. Get dressed up and punch people in the face love Voltron. Yet, I can’t remember a single thing about Voltron besides the fact that we is a giant robot put together by 5 mech-cats and he fights evildoers from space. I don’t remember the characters or the plot. I don’t remember the vehicle Voltron, non of it. But when I heard there was a game I was excited. I was excited for no good reason. Now I don’t want to go into a rational for cashing in on nostalgia and what it’s all about but I just want to point out that this game was purely made because of it.
Why? Because Voltron is an inherently flawed premise for a game (or at least one as a downloadable one). It supports 5 player co-op yay! But Voltron is only cool when he merges into one giant robot. ONE! How can you properly have 5 people trying to control one thing!
So apparently people still choose dumb passwords like 123456. Other popular choices QWWERTY, trustno1. and various sports like football or basketball. Two that I find kinda hilarious is Dragon and monkey?! I don’t know if that’s awesome or sad. Also a common name to use as a password is Ashley. So Ashley, you either have dumb and uncreative parents or you’re some crazy ass mistress!
Today I picked up the newspaper (yes I still read a physically tangible paper) and read not one but two articles back to back that in my mind were slightly bullshit. The first was talking about the 1% (because of all this 99% business) and how those people are deserving of the money because they are all well educated as opposed to the lower end of the scale who aren’t. Well no shit, except it fails to mention that higher education COSTS MONEY!
Article number two is about a hockey player and his girlfriend dressing up as Jay Z and Beyonce. Not too terrible until you find out they colored their skin a la blackface! There was no malicious intent, it was more ignorance than anything. Lots of people are defending what they did which is, whatever. I take issue because the excuse for why they didn’t know any better was because they are Canadian and being a hockey player is a very insular environment. They rationalize that Canadians were never taught about Al Jolson and blackface. I remember learning about this in grade 4! We don’t have the same issues that America has but we still have things like black history month to at least inform us about basic racial issues.
I was trying to figure out why for the past several days it’s been so hard for me to get out of bed. Then I remembered, I’ve switched back to the duvet. Sooo comfy. Apparently the duvet is called the doona in Australia. Doona kind of sounds like a tribal music instrument…
Anyway, speaking of the changing of the seasons/it’s getting friggn cold out, I was just on the search for a new coat. Something nice and water proof, and warm. I’m convinced that every MEC coat is identical, it also hit me that I’m not really that sporty. So moving onto non-mountainy stores!
A standard 3 camera sitcom revolving around two girls working at a diner. This “odd couple” pairing has a streetwise jaded Kat Dennings and a naïve formerly rich girl working together to make enough money to start a cupcake shop. The gimmick, at the end of the episode they tally how much money they own.
In general you could do a lot worse for a 3 camera sitcom. But it’s nothing special, you’ll know if this show is for you in 5 minutes.
Hart of Dixie stars Rachel Bilson as Zoe Hart, a New York Doctor who moves to small town Alabama to take over her dad’s medical practice. The show is Gilmore Girls meets the O.C. Yeah so that pretty much sums it up.
So, let’s talk about something else. Creating a characters name to be used for it’s title a la Hart of Dixie. Do people think they are clever when they come up with these things?